Love = Torture?

I may have mentioned this before, but I am a big fan of the whole “love” thing.  Everyone should have some.  Ideally lots.

I am a little worried however, about the KIND of “love” that modern society is celebrating, especially for the young folks out there.  How is any of this painting a pretty picture of the awesomeness of real, true, not-a-trainwreck love?

First we have the it’s only really love if it sucks message.

Boys only want love if it’s torture

“Yeah, I don’t want easy, I want crazy

“I don’t want no easy love

Why is the romantic ideal some crazy, dramatic, painful, horrible, hold-him-at-gunpoint-until-he-gives-in thing?

Then we have the powerful woman who’s going to scare the bejeesus out of you because that’s what sexy is message. I love this one for my son.

 “See anybody could be good to you, you need a bad girl to blow your mind

“I’m gonna love ya, until you hate me

I asked the boy if it’s sort of terrifying that these girls are threatening to “bang bang all over you” and he laughed nervously.

So either yes, or yikes.

I, as all normally shaped women, certainly enjoy a nice unrealistic depiction of what a girl should look like hanging around at home in her undies.  Since that’s what we all do.  To music. Duh.

I know that one isn’t technically about love.  But it’s about what the girl you should love should look like (according to the geniuses at VS), and not cool.

Those commercials are apparently on during The Big Bang Theory, which is also arguably inappropriate for a tween-aged boy, and yet his favorite show.  And damn funny I might add.  But so much with the sex talk. Oy.

I digress…

Finally, my very favorites are the once your dramatic, painful, unrealistic, doomed-to-failure “love” falls apart, you will need to drink your face off to survive messages.

“You’re gone and I gotta stay high all the time…to keep you off my mind”

“On this trip, anything I sip, had better have a kick and a burn, strong enough to get you off my mind”

I’ve actually talked to the kiddos from time to time about how all of this “it’s only really love if it totally sucks” stuff is total BS. They brush me off much like they do when I say things like “don’t do drugs” and “don’t run with scissors” and “take a shower.”

But really, it doesn’t have to suck.

It really shouldn’t suck.

And if you (and they) are lucky, you’ll find the kind that doesn’t.

About Kristen

Me: Kristen, more than 40-something (don't make me face the number), suburban mom of 2, working girl, therapeutic writer, proprietor of an emptying nest Addictions: Iced Coffee, FOMO resulting in twitchy compulsion to check FB/Instagram/Pinterest in an unending loop, texting, hugging my one child while Snapchatting the other and yelling at my dog

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