Keeping Up with the Real World Amazing Survivor Family

I am looking at job listings (again…always) and coming to the conclusion that what I really really want is to be on a reality show.

Mostly I want to just be paid for living my regular life.

The parts of my regular life that don’t involve going to a real job anyway.

Given clothes to wear just because I am just that fabulous. Maybe some loaner jewels – nothing too crazy, just a million or so bucks worth.

I’m no diva.

Being paid to attend events because having me there makes it just that much more exciting would be cool.

Of course I am not all that fabulous, and I don’t like attending events.  I also can’t stand what I look like on video, so that’s a tiny little complication.

But me getting a cup of coffee HAS to be just as exciting as seeing any star walking out of a Starbucks.  I’m JUST LIKE YOU!

Of course I am probably a little TOO much like everyone else to deserve a camera crew and any dedicated air time.

I only have two kids.  And no burning need to preach about it.

I have all of my teeth and no confounding accent.

I don’t know how to build anything.

I can’t eat anything that would make me gaggy.  Or meat. Or mushrooms. Or…

My kids are pretty normal too.

I can’t sing.  Not in public anyway.

I don’t have a horrific parasite (How is that even a thing that gets you on TV? HOW?)

I fear that – along with my (not really) dreams of being a fashion model and a child prodigy – my hopes of being a reality star are destined to go unfulfilled.

Unless they want to do a show about someone who sleeps late, spends a lot of time playing with her phone, and can’t train her one tiny dog – then I am totally set.

You’d watch that, right?

About Kristen

Me: Kristen, more than 40-something (don't make me face the number), suburban mom of 2, working girl, therapeutic writer, proprietor of an emptying nest Addictions: Iced Coffee, FOMO resulting in twitchy compulsion to check FB/Instagram/Pinterest in an unending loop, texting, hugging my one child while Snapchatting the other and yelling at my dog

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s