Today I receive an email that said that since Broadway will he closed through at least early September, the tickets we had to go see Six in mid-July needed to be refunded.
I thought I was done erasing stuff, but this was (I’m pretty sure) truly the last plan to be canceled.
I knew it was going to happen. I don’t really want to go to NYC and ride on a train and walk in a crowd and sit in a theater. But it still was a little bit of a gut punch. One more thing. The last thing.
I cried a tiny bit.
I’m OK now.
My mom shared with me an article (a sermon actually) about how optimistically planning for WHEN this is going to be over is going to tear us apart because it’s just a set up for more and more disappointments as each of those milestones passes and it isn’t what we wanted it to be (I am wildly paraphrasing obviously). But if we just believe that someday it WILL be over and figure out how to make the current situation (today and tomorrow and right now) the best it can be, we’ll be better off because it will be good (or at least more good – good-ER) right now.
No gut punches. No erasing stuff.
So I’m trying to do that. Only making plans that can happen under the current reality. Trying not to think about when I can make plans that involve a different one.
Tonight when we were making dinner there was a rainbow coming out of the cheese container 🌈 – a literal bright spot.
I went for a walk after work.
We picked up stuff (curbside) at Target to make breakfast packages to give to my parents’ church.
My nails are covered in glitter (2 kinds!) ✨
Jack’s last day of classes is Friday and we are going to have a party 🎉 (Party = me, Amanda, Jack, my parents in Porch-ugal. With cake.)
I won’t have to erase any of that.
Hope you are hanging in there – this is HARD y’all.