The 5 Things Game

I was looking through my book o’ideas and one of the prompts is “5 Punch Lines in Search of a Set Up.” In keeping with my rebellious streak (which includes things like going to MBA school because I was tired of working and yelling at my GPS because I will NOT be bossed around) I am not answering that question.

Also because I suck at writing and telling jokes.

However, it made me think of a game my kids and I used to play sometimes.  We were talking once about how I had to run out to the store for something at the last minute (all the time) and how funny it was to see what people NEED at odd hours and imagine what the stories could be behind some of those purchases.

So we started coming up with questionable lists of 5 things that you would buy late at night. List of items that would lead the checkout person to wonder just what the heck is going on back at your house.

Care to play?

How about:

  • Duct tape
  • A bucket
  • Sardines
  • Sandals
  • One washcloth


  • Children’s vitamins
  • Denture adhesive
  • Purple hair dye
  • Salt
  • Ice cream

Or maybe:

  • 4 different sizes of socks
  • A turkey trussing kit

How about:

  • Nutella
  • A bathroom scale
  • Birthday candles
  • Air freshener
  • A pay-as-you-go flip phone

It isn’t so much the actual things as the fact that they must be acquired right at this moment. 9:55 PM right before the store closes…just under the wire.

It can’t wait till the light of day. It can’t wait until the next sale.

These things. Now.

Have you ever had a shopping trip like that? Have you ever considered adding something to the list to make it seem less weird and/or criminal? Like if you also bought milk, the midnight purple hair dye plan would seem more legit?

Does anyone think like this other than me?

What’s your list? 



About Kristen

Me: Kristen, more than 40-something (don't make me face the number), suburban mom of 2, working girl, therapeutic writer, proprietor of an emptying nest Addictions: Iced Coffee, FOMO resulting in twitchy compulsion to check FB/Instagram/Pinterest in an unending loop, texting, hugging my one child while Snapchatting the other and yelling at my dog

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