Reasons my Teenager is Screaming

Raising a teenager is fun. Mostly.

They are becoming more independent, have lots of smart and funny things to say, sleep a ridiculous amount.

But then there are the moments where something clicks inside the teenaged mind, based on some event in the environment (usually something the mother did), and then there is a short circuit causing all of the humor and intelligence to vanish and instantaneously be replaced with an all encompassing ball of rage.

Then there is screaming. Door slamming. Usually an extended period of the silent treatment.

And then a few hours (actually sometimes just a few minutes) later, that smart funny kid regains control of his/her body and returns as if nothing happened.

It’s scary y’all.

And so, in the vein of Reasons my Son is Crying (which is enormously entertaining, BTW) I would like to offer up some examples of Reasons my Teenager is Screaming:

  • The dog is ignoring her.
  • I don’t know which song is on the radio.
  • I asked if she had eaten a bowl of cereal.
  • Her brother doesn’t know what genus he is in.
  • I brushed her hair and there was a knot.
  • Her iPhone is acting weird.
  • The clothes we ordered online yesterday didn’t come yet.
  • We are out of popsicles.
  • Someone looked in the open door to her room.
  • Her brother didn’t like it when she ate his candy.
  • She isn’t hungry because she had 2 bowls of cereal, 2 popsicles, and some pudding after school.
  • The new season of Gray’s Anatomy is taking too long to start.
  • She is shorter than her brother.
  • All of the phone chargers are in her room, so she can’t use one in the car.
  • I said that we need more chargers.
  • She can’t drive for a year.
  • It’s too hot in here (she’s wearing a sweatshirt).
  • It’s too cold in here (she’s wearing shorts).
  • She had to wake up too early (before noon).

I mean, all annoying for sure, especially the popsicles. But sheesh.

I have a couple of years before this all kicks in with my tween.  Right now his rage is isolated to times when the cable cuts out or the computer crashes.  I’m a little worried about what his list will look like when the time comes. He’ll be a lot bigger than me by then, and probably quite a bit louder.


About Kristen

Me: Kristen, more than 40-something (don't make me face the number), suburban mom of 2, working girl, therapeutic writer, proprietor of an emptying nest Addictions: Iced Coffee, FOMO resulting in twitchy compulsion to check FB/Instagram/Pinterest in an unending loop, texting, hugging my one child while Snapchatting the other and yelling at my dog

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