What I’m Not…

There are certain words I am cool with using to describe myself.




Super awesome cool chick.

Domestic goddess.

Maybe writer.

But I don’t like using that D word.

I am not comfortable with describing myself in terms of what I am not.

No longer a child.

Never tall.

Not athletic.

No longer married.

Strangely, divorced is a label that you have to use on a fairly regular basis – if you are, I mean. YOU probably don’t have to.

I do.

Forms for everything under the sun include marital status. Although I am unclear on how whether I was ever married impacts my dental needs. Or vision.

I wish there was a more present-focused word for it.

I looked it up in the thesaurus (because that’s the sort of thing I do), and as you can see up above there, there is not a real alternative.  I kind of like breached.  But that sounds very personal and probably not something I’d be comfortable to say in public.

I’ve been breached.

See.  Not good.

I guess single works.

But single sounds like looking. And I’m not.  So totally not.

I need to embrace my inner divorcee.

See – that sounds WRONG, too. Divorcee sounds like I should be sitting around in a feather boa with a cocktail.  I don’t do that…much.  OK  – I don’t do that at all.

I blanked my relationship status out on Facebook.

It would be ideal if I could blank it out in life. My own don’t ask, don’t tell policy.

About Kristen

Me: Kristen, 40-something (there's no need to be more specific), suburban mom of 2, working girl, therapeutic writer Addictions: Iced Coffee, FOMO resulting in twitchy compulsion to check FB/Instagram/Twitter/Pinterest in an unending loop, texting, hugging my children, yelling at my dog

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