I’m still trying to figure out how to make this image (^) my Zoom background. Because this is kind of what things are feeling like.

7am: Woke up suddenly and realized I forgot to put the trash out. Ran outside in my pajamas and crazy hair to do that.

Nice start to the day.

8:30 AM: Virtual meditation class. With eyes closed the teacher said “think of someone you don’t really know, a service person, the person who brings your packages – acknowledge that they have hopes and dreams and a family and are deserving of loving kindness.” So of course tears started running down my face because I am scared for literally everyone.

Then she read this over and over – and we were supposed to think about:

1. A stranger (as above)
2. Someone you love
3. Someone you have a difficult relationship with
4. The whole earth
5. Yourself

And I just cried through the whole damn thing. On video. In my jammies.

Ugh.

10am: I built my entire Instacart order and tried to pull the trigger only to be told there are no delivery dates. Or pickup dates. I guess that’s ever? Till next week? Unclear.

11am: Home Depot still is quite sure they brought me lawn fertilizer. They did not. This troubles me.

11:30 am: I canceled a bunch of travel plans related to taking Amanda to Nashville in May for the summer. She was going to have an internship and a job and see her friends. But alas, no. (Whenever I use the word alas I can’t help but think “Alas, earwax” – just me?)

12 pm: My company sent an email and said mid-year raises aren’t going to happen and they “might have to take some other actions.” They are an enormous company and they can’t keep their shit together for ONE MONTH?!?

1 pm: I ordered cupcakes to be delivered on Friday. That went quite smoothly. She asked if I would be around from 10 to 3 and I just laughed and laughed because OF COURSE I AM.

2 pm: I rebuilt my entire grocery shopping cart on Shippd and was told there are no delivery slots – try again tomorrow.

5 pm: I received an email with the “plan” for the rest of the school year for Jack and it is utter bullshit. There I no way I am going to be able to get him to engage at all. Ball completely dropped by the school district.

I get cutting kids some slack and this is hard but COME ON PEOPLE.

🤬

6 pm: I had a Zoom happy hour and the microphone on my brand new computer won’t work. And the whole reason I bought it was for Zoom-ing.

So all in all this has been a wall-to-wall shitty ass day.

Rant complete.

Maybe.

Probably.

Ok – deep breath. Find gratitude. Recenter. 😕

1. I had a nice dinner with my kids.
2. The trash cans did make it outside in time.
3. We are safe and healthy.
4. We have plenty of food. We will survive a shipping delay.
5. I got to take a walk outside.
6. I saw my friends and figured out a way for them to hear me.
7. It’s Spring Break. Woooo.
8. The current state of the world is temporary.

Hope you all had a more positivity filled day than me.

Hang in there!