The vocabulary for work status in the business world isn’t working for me these days.

If I was in sports, I would be on the verge of becoming a free agent.  That sounds pretty cool.

If I was in the entertainment industry, I could say that my option hadn’t been picked up. Or the season has wrapped and I am going on hiatus.  I think hiatus involves a lot of coffee and yoga.  I’d like hiatus.

If I was a kid, I’d be looking forward to my summer break.

If I was a college student, or even a high school grad, I could be starting on my gap year. Although I really hope I am not starting on a gap year.

A year is a BIG gap.

Unfortunately, I am in the business world.

Or, more accurately, on my way out. Temporarily.

Starting May 1st I am a free agent, on hiatus, in the gap.

This might be more fun if there was a pre-defined gap size. If I knew I had two weeks or a month or whatever to kick back and coast through, it might be a little adventure in leisure time. A sabbatical from responsible financial management. Woo!

However, as of this moment, the gap appears to be of indeterminant width. I can’t quite see the other side.

It is unclear what scary stuff is lurking at the bottom of the chasm. I fear that if I peek down there I will glimpse some kind of irreparable wreckage. Little bits of credit score mangled and bleeding. Poor little numbers…

My plan is to modify my perspective and vocabulary so that I am not even looking at the gap. (La la la la la…I can’t see you.)

I will fill my time with (cheap) coffee and (free) yoga and pretend I am a movie star between gigs.

I will write amusing anecdotes about adventures in frugal living and pretend I am an underpaid  and underappreciated writer.

I will meditate and call this a mental health break.

I will somewhat obsessively scan the job boards and pretend this is a planned mid-life career transition.

Like a tightrope walker I will focus on looking straight ahead and not at the tiny string holding me up. (Is that what they do?)

I won’t even look down there in the gap until I am on the other side – when I can shine a light down there and get out a first aid kit and patch up whatever breaks.

So if you see me dressed in my dark shades, walking in a very straight line, acting misunderstood and using big words, do not worry.  Know that I am juggling all of my metaphors and similes and imaginary focii and we will be returning to our regular programming (whatever that might be) momentarily.

Please stand by :)