Why am I on the Roof?

Yeah, that's me :)

This post is part of a series inspired by prompts from the book 642 Things to Write About by the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto.  If you want to play along, write your own post (on your blog or other online forum) and post a link in the comments.  I’ll add “shout-outs” at the end of my post and on the Keep Swimmin’ Facebook page to anyone who shares a link.

The prompt: #23: You are looking down through the skylight as chefs prepare dinner for your ex-fiance’s wedding.

I’m not much of a fiction writer.  Making up the story before you tell the story seems like a LOT of extra work.  I like telling stories about things that have already happened – much more efficient.

But let’s imagine that I was in the assigned situation – looking down through a skylight as chefs prepare dinner for my ex-fiance’s wedding.

My first thought is that I would be viewing the happenings down below like a super cool cooking show.  Weddings are fun, and the food tends to be super fabulous.  So I would probably be fascinated with the behind-the-scenes scoop on what goes into pulling off a wedding.  And I’d probably be plotting some way to get a piece of cake.

I mean, I hope the kind of guy I would have been engaged to would be having a cooking-show-worthy fabulous wedding.

But maybe I dumped him because he’s a cheap loser and his idea of a wedding is something completely lame and the chef in question is more Boyardee than Bobby Flay.  I mean, if he’s my ex it would have to be because I decided he wasn’t the one.  I’m not getting dumped again…at least I hope not by someone who got close enough to get me to agree to try the whole marriage thing again.

OK, so he’s a loser and I am chuckling to myself about how awesome it is that I dodged the bullet of this train wreck being MY wedding.  Even the cake looks bad.  Although even bad cake is cake I wouldn’t mind a piece of.

Of course, the fact that I am looking down through a skylight raises some questions about how “over it” I actually am.  I am completely terrified of heights so I would have to be SUPER interested in the happenings to climb onto a roof and peek down in there.  I literally can’t imagine anything I would be interested in seeing enough to climb onto a roof and look down.  So maybe he’s marrying, like, royalty.  He dumped me for a princess.

Typical, right?  I am willing to CLIMB ONTO A ROOF FOR HIM and he picked her.

Yeah, that's me :)Or maybe I am up here on the roof because I am a SUPER HERO and I am going to save him from the sham of a marriage he is being forced into against his will.  Yeah, that’s it.

I am just waiting for that conniving, fiance-napping b**** to come check on the hors d’oeuvres and I will SWOOP in there on my magic lasso and take her out. Then I will grab him and we’ll run away, so very relieved that I am so kick a** that I could save him from her evil clutches.

Yep – that’s it! It’s the only thing that makes sense. He’s lucky he has me.

Maybe on the way out we can grab some cake…

Tell me YOUR story…come on…you can do it!!

About Kristen

Me: Kristen, more than 40-something (don't make me face the number), suburban mom of 2, working girl, therapeutic writer, proprietor of an emptying nest Addictions: Iced Coffee, FOMO resulting in twitchy compulsion to check FB/Instagram/Pinterest in an unending loop, texting, hugging my one child while Snapchatting the other and yelling at my dog

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